


Idle Husbands Are the Devil's Workshop

by flailinginlove



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M, Naruto's life is hard, for once Kakashi's is not, retired jounin are a force of nature
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23418886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flailinginlove/pseuds/flailinginlove
Summary: Kakashi doesn't make life easy for Naruto, and Iruka absolutely does not reward delinquent behavior.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Comments: 44
Kudos: 461
Collections: Iruka's Birthday Shiritori 2020





	Idle Husbands Are the Devil's Workshop

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Of Locks and Keys](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23317672) by [CappuccettoRosso](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CappuccettoRosso/pseuds/CappuccettoRosso). 



> Back around to my turn for Iruka's Birthday Shiritori. Thank you to yokoranger for the quick typo check! ♥

"That husband of yours," Naruto grumbled as he slid onto the stool next to Iruka, "is a public menace."

Iruka chuckled then signaled for Teuchi to bring them their regular. "Ah, karma. Sweet, beautiful karma."

"I wasn't _this_ bad."

"Want to place money on that?"

"Hey! I never took all the business signs in the village then rearranged them in alphabetical order."

"No, but I do remember a time when Konoha suddenly had a _pubic_ library."

"Only for like one week! I gave the L back eventually! And no one even had to clean up after it! Unlike certain people who have used earth jutsu to sculpt gigantic recreations of some of my genin missions in the middle of the most frequently used training grounds at least five times. Do you know how hard it is to get rid of multiple tonnes of mud? We've had to assign it as D-rank missions! That costs money! I should take it out of their pensions."

Iruka shook his head. He could point out all the times Naruto had added his own _artistic flair_ to Hokage Rock, but it'd just be repeating the same conversation they'd had a dozen times since he took office.

He also didn't say that the multi-sculpture installation on the Third Training Ground had been his favorite. It'd been called Teamwork, and Iruka still wasn't sure how Kakashi had managed to make the ten-foot-tall mud Naruto look like he was flying through the air.

"What did he do this time?" he asked instead.

"He and Gai had a pruning battle"

"A _pruning_ battle?"

"Hokage Tower has new topiaries."

"Extracurricular gardening doesn't sound so bad, not after last time when they put geyser jutsu in all the Hokage Tower toilets."

"Half of them were Icha Icha inspired."

"Oh."

"They even managed to rope Yamato into the whole thing."

"Was he the judge?"

"He grew the trees."

" _Oh._ "

"It was bad enough when it was just Kakashi and Gai and their insane challenges. Then they talked Kurenai into genjutsuing the Council into thinking they were small woodland creatures anytime someone mentioned budget proposals, and then there was that thing with Shizune. I mean, _Shizune_ , of all people. I know it's not wartime and we don't technically need all those bandages right now, but did they have to wrap the whole hospital? And don't even get me started on Genma with his _Senbon Challenge_. And now they're dragging _Yamato_ into this? What's next, Iruka-sensei? Are they going to get you to booby trap the entire Academy with stink tags?"

Iruka chuckled nervously. Naruto didn't need to know he'd already done something similar when he was a pre-genin. "Cut them a little slack. This is the first time in their lives they've ever truly had free time. They're just working off excess energy. I'm sure they'll settle down eventually."

" _Eventually_ ," Naruto muttered darkly. "It's been _two years_. Seriously, Iruka-sensei, they're total pains in the ass. Can't you do something?"

"I can treat for your ramen."

"You were going to do that anyway."

"You can have seconds. And I promise I'll talk to the Menace tonight."

Naruto continued to grumble, but was semi-appeased by the ramen. When he whined like this, Iruka couldn't help but be reminded of the child he once was, or feel a swell of pride at the man he'd grown into. If he ended up buying Naruto a third bowl out of nostalgia, he didn't think anyone could blame him.

~*~*~

"I heard Hokage Tower just got a little greener," Iruka said after he arrived home later that night. "And here I thought Mr. Ukki was your only plant because you didn't have a green thumb."

"I can neither confirm nor deny any horticulture-related allegations."

"Were they at least PG?" He hadn't wanted to ask Naruto for details.

"Define PG."

"Suitable for Academy-aged children."

"Well, they might give new meaning to the phrase morning wood." 

Iruka just shook his head. "I assume there was a lot of bush?"

"Oh, yes. And you shouldn't forget all the twigs-n-berries."

"Please tell me you didn't make them interactive like you did with the life-sized Tactics paper mache dioramas."

" _Allegedly did_ ," Kakashi corrected. "And no, that would have been too much work. These just have a genjutsu on them that makes you think they moan and start squirting water from some strategically placed stems if you give them a good pruning."

Iruka pressed his lips together and tried not to wish he could have been there. Someone needed to be the adult in this relationship, and only one of them still had an image to uphold. School principals did not get to enjoy pranks involving sexually suggestive shrubbery. At least not openly.

"Just... try to be good for a little while? Naruto has enough to worry about right now without you making endless clones of all the paperwork piles in his office."

There was a spark of mischief in Kakashi's eye and Iruka wanted to hit his head against the nearest wall.

"Don't even think about it."

"Will I get a reward if I'm good?" Kakashi asked, waggling an eyebrow at Iruka.

"No, but I also won't tell Naruto how to undo the seal that protects your limited edition Icha Icha collection." 

"When you put it that way, how could I say no? I'll play nice." The _for now_ went unspoken.

"Good answer. Now, do you want me to blow you in the shower or not?" He might need to be the responsible one, but that didn't mean he could ignore how devilishly attractive Kakashi was when he was getting up to some ridiculous trouble.

"You're sending mixed signals here, Sensei."

Iruka shrugged. "Was that a no?"

Kakashi grinned and moved towards him. "So, you're saying you want to give a nice spit-shine to the ol' hardwood?"

Iruka resisted the urge to groan at the bad euphemism and hauled Kakashi towards their shower.

~*~*~

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! ♥

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Showers, coffee, and rock'n roll](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23536597) by [myka1231](https://archiveofourown.org/users/myka1231/pseuds/myka1231)




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